Holy Shit
Penn State v. Northwestern, one of the best games I've seen this season =O! In other news, thats too bad sophmores lost last night, guess they aren't invincible, but they sure are hella-fun to watch!!! The PSATs were this morning, I'm not sure how I did, I'll post as soon as I get word : ) (for all you scorez fiendz) w00t!

RE: Support your GOOD football team
Wow Kilburg, gizzay post. I really think thats pretty dumb that you can talk shit about the soph team when you guys lose too.

RE:RE: Support your GOOD football team
Kilburg don't be bitter, no one ever said that the sophs couldn't lose, but there is no doubt that they are good. It also seems ironic that anybody on the 3-5 varsity team would make fun of a team for losing.

RE: Support your GOOD football team
And the point of your post is?

By the Way
The headline of that last post was taken from the text of Nick Basile's earlier post.

Support your GOOD football team
Y'know, normally, I wouldn't do something like this, but I have to say that it's a good thing. Jesus, the sophomores aren't invincible, as was shown. Good? Yes, most certainly. However, it seemed that Xavier had a bit too much kryptonite for the super sophs last night.

Hello
Um, yo. I really have nothing too important to say. I'm just trying to get my post numbers up. Well, here it is, another attention grabbing post from Eamonn.

The After School Adventures of Team ADD
Today after school Team ADD, which consists of myself and Nick Basile, made the journey to Lindale Mall in search of NASCAR merchandise. This is the story of today's events.

We began our quest for NASCAR gear in the parking lot, where we hopped into my horseless carraige. Nick then spotted Ellen's car with the window down, and I pull up next to it. I handed him a stale bag of Combos, and he hucked them in. All was going according to plan, when Ellen spotted us and came running across the parking lot to put an end to our shenanigans. The throwing ceased, but not before Ellen spat a GIANT FUCKING LOOGIE all over Nick and myself. Nick bore the brunt, with only my hands and steering wheel taking the damage. In order to add insult to injury, she squired her wiper fluid at us as we left.


Our quest was underway, and Nick stop was HandiMart to perform some routine car maintence, which involved me putting air in my tires whilst El Bayzo smashed combos on my windshield and spread the Dijon mustard that came with his Lunchable on it. Snacking occurred, as well as a carwash and we were off to wonderful Lindale Mall.


1st Stop: Software Etc. Three of the absolute biggest pieces of nerd shit were sitting in there, quoting Ferris Bueller. ACTUAL QUOTE: "Man, I always drop Ferris Bueller quotes. And then when people ask what that is from, I smack them! HAHAHAHA*SNORT*" Some dude was playing the new Xbox demo, and I picked up the second controller, pushed some buttons, and promptly ruined his game of DOA 3. Nick berated me with insults, but the next thing he did was knock down a couple different displays. We were even. The sheer dorkage of this event was broken by some light sparring by Nickolaus and I. After some hot karate action, which included a chase around display cases and some lethal kicks, we left


2nd Stop: C&Y. This ghetto store is for the crackers, honkies, and other scum of the earth who desire to dress like a No Limit Soldier but don't actually have the money to do it. It consisted of some immigrant Chinese woman talking on the phone and racks and racks and racks of PLAYERS jackets and fleece sweatsuits. Yes, fleece sweetsuits. I tried on a PLAYERS jacket, and after throwing up some gang signs, Nick suggested we leave this retard haven.


INTERLUDE: We stopped and looked at these stupid ass Youth Leadership pictures or some gibberish like that. This also provided fossil fuel for our comedy combustion engines, as we made it our personal mission to find the biggest lamazoid of the bunch. I think we hit jackpot when we found Derek Meek's picture. Put this image inside your mind: glamour shots in a wife beater. Yes, a wife beater.


3rd Stop: The One Dollar Warehouse(Or something like that). WHITE. TRASH. HEAVEN. Those three words describe the entire contents of this store. What would you expect for a dollar? As if to drive this point home, as soon as we entered the store I spotted a dirty scraggly man in a baseball cap perusing the aisles with his daughter. An old wrinkled woman welcomed us into the store, and we proceded to view the merchandise. Suddenly, like a ray of light, I spotted the perfect item. An all white basesball cap. No logos. No colors. No nothing. Just white as snow. Nick picked up a similar item, a denim baseball cap with a man water skiing embroidered on the front. We continued through this horror store and I found a picture perfect pair of pink sunglasses, which match my hat perfectly. The dynamic duo approached the counter to pay, and the old woman snapped "I thought you guys were old enough to play with lighters, but now with your behavior in the store I can plainly see that your not 18!" We had merely been laughing at all the shitty merchandise her shithole store had to offer. We paid and left, hopefully never to return.


4th Stop: Goodfellaz Urban Wear. A little more upscale then C&Y, but the big black man combing his hair scared us off before we could investigate.


5th Stop: Crappy Ass Halloween Store. This store was the worst excuse for a Halloween store I have ever seen in my entire life. Nick and I scouted this store for a few minutes and decided: Worst. Costumes. EVER! Ugly staff, ugly costumes, ugly store. Actually, the one redeeming quality was their Renaissance costumes. Who wouldn't want to dress up in as Romeo (yes they had a Romeo costume) for Halloween? As Matt Kottal would say: "Draw thy longsword ho!"


Quick Interlude: We took a brief break to stare at all the Goth freaks standing outside the Hot Topic. I hope they all meet horrible fates. Stupid Goths with their angst "Linkin Park are the only ones who understand me! I think I will go write shitty poetry about vampires."


6th Stop: Spencer's Gifts. By now, our trip was slowing down and we were losing our momentum. We had one last stop to make, and that was Spencer's Gifts. This store was pretty lame, with the notable exception of the male cashier dressed up in a skirt. And the black lights were cool. Several displays caught our eye, including some badass Kiss action figures and some lame ass Metallica figures. Suddenly: out of the corner of my eye I spied it. It glistened in the light and I went over to inspect it. I had found my new piece. Describing it one word: unflossable.


This ends our mall tour, as after this we realized our attention spans were running low and we should head home. I'm not a big fan of the mall but this was an interesting day to be there.

TAILGATING
Everyone is ordered to attend the Ultimate Tailgating Extravaganza put on by the good fellows of the '04 Super Fan Guild. As you all know, we meet on the Warrior side of the Kingston parking lot before the game, usually at 4:30. I urge all fellow Sophmores and Soph football fans to attend the festive gala. This week, the Guild has scored some grills, and we will be grilling hotdogs and brats. Tasty. BUT WE STILL NEED YOU TO CONTRIBUTE AND BRING FOOD FOR THE GROUP!!! Other activities that the group partakes in are dancin' to seasonal holiday music (we are currently showcasing Monster Hits: Volume 1, in leu of Halloween pressing upon us), and throwing food at the bitches, such as Ben Johnson and Swifty. When you show up to the partay, you will surely see us under the large banner that the Guild members have produced, and around some card tables, eating with our fat ass faces. You can't miss us. Support your GOOD football team and show up to the tailgate in preparation to CHEER THE FUCK OUT.
4:30 KINGSTON PARKING LOT - WARRIOR SIDE -- Be there or be blatantly homosexual.

PS
Michael in case you and your "Bar Freinds" were interested in kicking my ass which i encourage you to do, my home phone number is (319)-364-8524 or you can reach me at my cellular phone of (319)431-5343. I live at 2020 Goblins Gulley Drive. I drive a land cruiser and plan on avenging the death of my ferret on you and your friends.

Cutting Block
After reading the BBP update I realized what an idiot I have been in not posting more often. You guys crack me up at night. Usually I just dont have anything important to say and if I do I usually forget it by the time I get done wanking it during the day and check out this site. One comment I have to make though is that Billy Ray Cyrus kicks ass but the Michael dude is lame. My new scale for lameness is going to be from a scale of Michael Winetroub(lamest) to Billy Ray Cyrus(not lame at all). It is totally cool that he got kicked off and I hope that if he reads this he wants to kick my ass. Smarty Pants- looks like you wont be giving your lame-ass opinions around here cause big boy Adam booted your ass. Also Ted Nuget has good ideas except for that police shooting people bull shite because as I told Jake and Adam this morning I would have been shot quite a few times now as would many innocent teen-agers who are running from the cops for crimes that people dont deserve to be shot for.

The After School Adventures of Team ADD
Today after school Team ADD, which consists of myself and Nick Basile, made the journey to Lindale Mall in search of NASCAR merchandise. This is the story of today's events.

We began our quest for NASCAR gear in the parking lot, where we hopped into my horseless carraige. Nick then spotted Ellen's car with the window down, and I pull up next to it. I handed him a stale bag of Combos, and he hucked them in. All was going according to plan, when Ellen spotted us and came running across the parking lot to put an end to our shenanigans. The throwing ceased, but not before Ellen spat a GIANT FUCKING LOOGIE all over Nick and myself. Nick bore the brunt, with only my hands and steering wheel taking the damage. In order to add insult to injury, she squired her wiper fluid at us as we left.

Our quest was underway, and Nick stop was HandiMart to perform some routine car maintence, which involved me putting air in my tires whilst El Bayzo smashed combos on my windshield and spread the Dijon mustard that came with his Lunchable on it. Snacking occurred, as well as a carwash and we were off to wonderful Lindale Mall.

1st Stop: Software Etc. Three of the absolute biggest pieces of nerd shit were sitting in there, quoting Ferris Bueller. ACTUAL QUOTE: "Man, I always drop Ferris Bueller quotes. And then when people ask what that is from, I smack them! HAHAHAHA*SNORT*" Some dude was playing the new Xbox demo, and I picked up the second controller, pushed some buttons, and promptly ruined his game of DOA 3. Nick berated me with insults, but the next thing he did was knock down a couple different displays. We were even. The sheer dorkage of this event was broken by some light sparring by Nickolaus and I. After some hot karate action, which included a chase around display cases and some lethal kicks, we left

2nd Stop: C&Y. This ghetto store is for the crackers, honkies, and other scum of the earth who desire to dress like a No Limit Soldier but don't actually have the money to do it. It consisted of some immigrant Chinese woman talking on the phone and racks and racks and racks of PLAYERS jackets and fleece sweatsuits. Yes, fleece sweetsuits. I tried on a PLAYERS jacket, and after throwing up some gang signs, Nick suggested we leave this retard haven.

INTERLUDE: We stopped and looked at these stupid ass Youth Leadership pictures or some gibberish like that. This also provided fossil fuel for our comedy combustion engines, as we made it our personal mission to find the biggest lamazoid of the bunch. I think we hit jackpot when we found Derek Meek's picture. Put this image inside your mind: glamour shots in a wife beater. Yes, a wife beater.

3rd Stop: The One Dollar Warehouse(Or something like that). WHITE. TRASH. HEAVEN. Those three words describe the entire contents of this store. What would you expect for a dollar? As if to drive this point home, as soon as we entered the store I spotted a dirty scraggly man in a baseball cap perusing the aisles with his daughter. An old wrinkled woman welcomed us into the store, and we proceded to view the merchandise. Suddenly, like a ray of light, I spotted the perfect item. An all white basesball cap. No logos. No colors. No nothing. Just white as snow. Nick picked up a similar item, a denim baseball cap with a man water skiing embroidered on the front. We continued through this horror store and I found a picture perfect pair of pink sunglasses, which match my hat perfectly. The dynamic duo approached the counter to pay, and the old woman snapped "I thought you guys were old enough to play with lighters, but now with your behavior in the store I can plainly see that your not 18!" We had merely been laughing at all the shitty merchandise her shithole store had to offer. We paid and left, hopefully never to return.

4th Stop: Goodfellaz Urban Wear. A little more upscale then C&Y, but the big black man combing his hair scared us off before we could investigate.

5th Stop: Crappy Ass Halloween Store. This store was the worst excuse for a Halloween store I have ever seen in my entire life. Nick and I scouted this store for a few minutes and decided: Worst. Costumes. EVER! Ugly staff, ugly costumes, ugly store. Actually, the one redeeming quality was their Renaissance costumes. Who wouldn't want to dress up in as Romeo (yes they had a Romeo costume) for Halloween? As Matt Kottal would say: "Draw thy longsword ho!"

Quick Interlude: We took a brief break to stare at all the Goth freaks standing outside the Hot Topic. I hope they all meet horrible fates. Stupid Goths with their angst "Linkin Park are the only ones who understand me! I think I will go write shitty poetry about vampires."

6th Stop: Spencer's Gifts. By now, our trip was slowing down and we were losing our momentum. We had one last stop to make, and that was Spencer's Gifts. This store was pretty lame, with the notable exception of the male cashier dressed up in a skirt. And the black lights were cool. Several displays caught our eye, including some badass Kiss action figures and some lame ass Metallica figures. Suddenly: out of the corner of my eye I spied it. It glistened in the light and I went over to inspect it. I had found my new piece. Describing it one word: unflossable.

This ends our mall tour, as after this we realized our attention spans were running low and we should head home. I'm not a big fan of the mall but this was an interesting day to be there.

HALLO

That bonfire was god awful tonight. I don't remember seeing any upperclassmen there, besides about half the Varsity football team. It was way to short, and there was no point to it. I hate school bonfires. But I <3 beating the hell out of Xavier, tomorrow night we're going to beat Xavier 104 1/2-3. Team ADD's got nothin on me and my tag partner Big John Barnes and his lethal growl.

First Post, Miscellaneous

I guess Adam is trying to crack down on people who don't have posts, and since I don't have any I thought I'd put one up. I don't really understand it, as it was just a few days ago he was looking for people to join, and now he is trying to cut people out. But Adam does contradict himself multiple times a day. Lets see, required posts + readmitted banned members = less fighting. I doubt it.

Concerning the Bonfire: did you really think it would be fun? Honestly. It's school sponsered with the administration there. Of course it won't. It's not rocket science why hardly any seniors and juniors showed up. On the topic of administraion, it's a shame that article for surveyor will never be published. Instead we will get to read a review of the movie Serendipity or the new N'Sync album. I can't wait.

Also, I was wondering how anyone can call someone a king nerd fag, but at the same time continue to brag about test scores. Hmmmm. Although it can be done in fun, I don't believe that using test scores will make me feel a form of social supperiority . Then again, I also don't understand what a senior in college is doing posting on a message board composed entirely of local high school kids. I can't really justify that one. It was also pretty asinine to see a comparison of "fag" to the n word.

Outside of here, the new live Radiohead was leaked yesterday. If you're a fan go get it. If not, continue listening to more pop garbage. If you can't find it, try using something other than Morpheus and Kazaa. OK, I'm done now.

RE: Hijack This!
That pic is 1337. I wish I could have been the person who droped that bomb on those feggits.

ADD/ADHD
Attention Deficet Dissorder and Attention Deficet Hyperactivity Disorder (which is what i am graced with) have to be some of the best things to have "wrong" with a person. Lemme lay it all out for y'all. I thoroughly enjoy my lil disorder, as they call it. But, I will have none of that name. It simply just isn't a disorder. I can keep total concentration of multiple things at once, or I can completely get myself lost in the wonders of my head. Another great thing that I get to do is take a Class C Amphetamine. A.K.A. SPEED. Now, I of course have a prescrpition for this, and what y'all have to understand is that the effect of EVERY single drug i could possible take works the exact opposite on people with my gift. Speed = downer, Marijuana = upper, Alcohol = anti-depressant (haha). You get the drift.
I, as well as many of my compadres that you all might know who have a form of ADD ( Charlie, Nick, Ted Wendler (wow) are unique individuals, and should be not seen as differant. We should be seen for the high intellect persons we are. As you all might know, Nick Basile, Charlie, and myself are extremely brilliant people. We also have just a lil nack to be a lil insane. I really can't see any bad things about ADD. I mean sure, we might have a lil trouble concentration on what we are SUPPOSED to be concentrated on, but who said we aren't concentrated on something that is just way better..... The way I see it, we are better off than the "normal people". You can feel free to argue my point...arguing is fun

Hijack this!

HI HI HI HI HI
HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI HI!

RE: Bonfire
I agree it sux0rz. It would have been more fun it if was after the parade but there wasnt one. There was like nobody their but a bunch of sophs, thats not a bad thing but I think it would be cooler if maybe it was evenly spread out through all the grades. The fire was pretty whoosy too. We should have had the 20 story bonfire like Texas A&M. That would have been 1337.

RE: Incredibly Lame Bonfire
Team ADD's presence made this event worth attending. It was a rare personal appearance.

To Much Good Music....
I was just thinking, and WOW, there really is a lot of just baby spankin good music. I mean, just think about it. I know what I like, and you know what you like. Inside my favorite genres are multiple bands that kick arse. Wow, Dave, Jethro Tull (ROCKS!!), Grand Funk, Rare Earth, Ben Folds, Widespread Panic, Led, String Cheese, Journey, Stepenwolf........I mean I could just go on. If I could just get a hold of ALL the music that just throughly entertains me, I would be in a zone for hours on end. It's just brain fumbling

RE: I R R0x0r H4rdc0r3
I would bend you over with KSU. I own with the Wildcats.

Bonfire
Man, the school bonfire was one stinking, slice of turd. No one was there except for Sophmores and Freshmen, I think that musically retarded DJ for Z102.8 (worst station EVER, but all stations suck anyways) made an appearance to say something really lame in hopes of pumping up the sparse crowd, but there was NO single quality that made it redeeming. The administration wouldn't let anyone get within 30 feet of the bonfire, they had what seemed like speakers maybe ripped off a 12 dollar AudioPhonic boom box, that amplified the sound about as much as a hollowed out paper Dixie cup. If you skipped this lamazoid school event, consider yourself LUCKY.

I R R0x0r H4rdc0r3
Yeah, its true, don't doubt it. Commentary bringing you up to speed on my views you really didn't care about: Ted Nugent = Facist. The police in this country already have far beyond the scope of power that was originally called for in the constitution. His comment "if you run from the police they should have every right to shoot you" is just assinine. In some parts of the country, the police are so skewed in their views of race and such that no other choice is to be had. While this may be hard for rich white country-boy Ted to belive, racial profiling exists, people are charged with crimes they didn't commit, and the police are a force to be avoided. I H8 Ted Nugent. In addition: Micheal. Micheal has so far come off as a bit pompous, but using phrases like "king nerd fag" just accentuates how much more intelligent he is than you are. Tough shit Chad. I <3 the penis story too. Too bad it was shot down in committee. In the meantime, NCAA 2002 for the PS2 is the single greatest game ever made (short of GT3) and I will r0x0r j00 b0x0rs with Fresno State. State in '01 baby! Also: listen to more Radiohead's Amnesiac. That's a neat CD.

Re: Peace?
I totally agree with Bram...Michael's well-rounded political commentary is without a doubt a valuable addition to BBP, and from what little I've read of previous posts, is something that generates plenty of more or less intelligent discussion. Okay, maybe the "poke the bunny" thing was stupid, but is that any reason to tear into him like that?

RE: Article/KNF
That is indeed a great piece of literature. I particularly enjoy it because I particularly enjoy penisis. Also, today was Weiner Day today at lunch.

Nothing like a long hard weiner in your mouth to sooth your craving.

P.S. For all of you who don't know, KNF is the abbreviation of King Nerd Fag. 'Twas a title given to Adam by his brother Zakk. It is a catch-all for anyone who seems to be the king of both nerds and fags.

Article
And Tyler....that is the best article I have ever read!

Peace?
Jesus christ did you people just totally neglect the email that Adam sent to everyone?? BBP was set up as a HAVEN (I know that's a big word, sorry) for people to post their opinions and perhaps get CONSTRUCTIVE criticism back, not a bunch of neanderthal-esque insults about homosexuality and KNF ( I have no idea what that is). For fuck's sake give your egos a fucking rest and try to enjoy something.

"Penis: An Ubiquitous Presence"

That's the title of this article for the Surveyor last night for today, that, unfortunately due to its *slightly* obscene and "controversial" nature is going to have to be reworked into a mere shadow of its former self...oh well...anyway, I'm told that it's fairly entertaining, and thought that I might post it, despite the fact that it's half-baked in places because I wrote it the night before the due date on a caffeine high. Anyway, enjoy.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Penis: An Ubiquitous Presence

Tube steak, wanger, wank, bishop, rooster, nasty noodle, johnson, russle the love muscle, pizzle, (captain) winkie, schlong, pecker, pud, lizard, warrior, cob, man missile, peter, and sometimes even “snack pack.” whatever you want to call it, the male sex organ certainly “enjoys” a phenomenally pervasive presence in modern American and world society, even poking up occasionally in religion, and making scores of cameo appearances throughout history.
First off, America is utterly saturated with images and references to the ever-present phallus. Consider things like Big Johnson and Woody’s Longboards t-shirts, Monica Lewinsky, jokes about submarines, donkeys, telephone polls, and the thousands upon thousands of other crude phalluscentric jokes you have heard in your life, Slim Jims, Magnolia, Trojan Condoms, Saturday Night Live, specifically the Ladies’ Man, stand-up comics, the advertising industry, Viagra, Jake Thomas, South Park, and the list goes on, and on, and on.
“But why Tyler?” you might ask. “Why is our society so obsessed with the male sex organ?” Well, for a few reasons that I will theorize about momentarily, it’s kind of funny. Try just saying it—come on, say “penis.” Yeah, that’s right. Louder!—I mean…If you aren’t already laughing, well, you’re probably thinking something along the lines of “Man, Tyler is a jimmy.” See? You’ve got thwack on the brain—even more evidence of the penis’s influence.
The main and arguably sole reason for the countless penile references made in our culture is because it lends itself so well to humor, that, at least for about 50% of the population, is relatively easy to relate to.
Male sexuality, for a variety of reasons, the main one, in my opinion, of them being our expectations and norms for male sexual behavior, is more socially acceptable and generally okay to talk about. Add all of that to the uncomfortable, “taboo” and hypocritical, yet natural and necessary nature of sex, and you have the two indispensible ingredients for successful comedy: loads of ammunition (no pun intended) and, for the most part, a willing audience.
In addition to it’s overwhelming amount of screen-time in American pop culture, the penis takes a perky role in religion as well under the title of “Phallicism”, including both ancient and modern Paganism, Hinduism, Christianity, Judaism, and Greek mythology.
It seems that throughout the course of history, this mix of desirable comedic circumstances has lead to a series of more or less welcome jabs at phallus humor. Shakespeare’s plays, for instance, make consistent use of Johnathan jokes, and serve as just one example of a plethora of other phallic references.
And I’m spent. Hopefully you’ve enjoyed this discourse on male genitalia, and hopefully you’ve learned something about its presence in our culture and society, religion, and history. Go forth now, enlightened pupils, and spread the good news of the phallus.

Airstrikes
It looks like the strikes finally hit someone Report: Bin Laden Deputy Killed in Bombings I'd assume the strikes are going to let up soon to let aid workers get to the 2 million + refugees stranded near the Pakistan border, especially since the Taliban are blowing up/stealing UN food supplies.

Babysitter
Wow... go to work for five hours and you guys need the babysitter to come back. Let's all behave now...

Funny Funny
Get it? Just like Bling Bling.

Yeah yeah bad joke I know.

Go to this site, its an awesome video... may take a few seconds to load, but its worth it. Drunk People...

Just a thought....
After the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, which killed six and injured
1,000, President Clinton promised that those responsible would be
hunted down and punished.

After the 1995 bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed five U.S. military
personnel, Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down
and punished.

After the 1996 Khobar Towers bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed 19
and injured 200 U.S. military personnel, Clinton promised that those
would
be hunted down and punished.

After the 1998 bombing of U.S. embassies in Africa, which killed 224
and injured 5,000, Clinton promised that those responsible would be
hunted
down and punished.

After the 2000 bombing of the USS Cole, which killed 17 and injured 39
U.S. sailors, Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted
own and punished.

Maybe if Clinton had kept his promises, an estimated 7,000 people would
be alive today

So, in view of this, consider this interesting question:

This question was raised on a Philly radio call-in show. Without casting
stones, it is a legitimate question.

There are two men, both extremely wealthy. One develops relatively
cheap software and gives hundreds of millions of dollars to charity.

The other sponsors terrorism.

That being the case, why is it that the Clinton-Gore administration
spent more money chasing down Bill Gates over the past eight years than
Osama Bin Laden?

It makes you wonder where the priorities of our great nation lie.

Slander
I'd advise you self-aggrandizing morons to lay off the slander and the constant use of bigoted phrases. As far as why I'm here; I know Adam, nobody else, and I guess he wished to DIVERSIFY PERSPECTIVES with someone who happens to be in college. As far as your assumptions to what I do in my personal life, the details are none of your business, but I guarantee I can strike up a MUCH MORE INTERESTING conversation with just about anyone using my background than you could ever dream. Lay off, shut up. To anyone else (read: not Murphy and Chad) I don't know you all, I don't care what you all do, I am merely here to debate certain perspectives during the time I have between classes or when I'm sick of doing my homework. I promise to never personally attack people without significant provocation, I only wish to attack ideas. Thank you for your time, I'm going out to a BAR now with my FRIENDS (yeah I have them). =)

-I also realize that Adam edited this statement previously, and I'm going to put back what I said before because I believe what I said was of paramount importance. The use of the word "fag" or "gay" in the context of belittling someone is entirely unacceptable in our society, it is tantamount to walking around and using the word "nigger" in reference to things you think are bad, or directed towards African Americans. Yeah, those old people you see saying "those niggers" are really cool. If you do not yet realize this, you should culture yourself some more, seriously.

Mullets
Dave, you can think whatever you want about mullets. No one is going to accept a measley 20 bucks to grow a mullet. That isn't enough I don't think. Raise it to an amount that would be worth the embarrassment. Haha, you could go pay that one Junior who already has one. He's cool........

Atomic Dog
Bow wow wow wow yippo yo yippe yey. George Clinton = King of Funk.

Mullet Challenge
I'll pay anyone 20 bucks after they grow a mullet. You have till the end of the year. Anyone up for the challenge? If there are more than one up for it I will pay 20 to the person with the best mullet and 10 to the 2nd place winner!!!!!! w00t! mulletz own.

RE: Michael Winetrob
Yea I agree too. But I guess Micheal the NERD FAG likes talking with his High School friends. Boy I hope I never get that way... I doubt it though. Im no KNF.

Billy Ray Cyrus.... An American Hero
While listing to my MP3'z I stumbled upon the greatest song ever Achy Breaky Heart. By the man, Billy Ray Cyrus. w00t he ownz. Check that studly mullet too. What a hunk.

RE: Chad
Micheal = Homonym.

Chad
Please refrain from the tedious repetition of statements and the ad homonym attacks.

I rest my case...

RE: POKE IT!
Is that supposed to be cool or something... because it sure as hell isn't funny. I think we have a new Mr. KNF on out hands. (Michael) Who siad that?

POKE IT!

RE: Tonight
Jake ownz, I <3 him. HAHAHA thats great. I wonder how much the fairy brought him...

Tonight
I was sitting in my room playing NCAA 2002, I think im addicted. Oh well, that game rox0rz j00 box0rz!!

Well, anyway my little brother walks into my room, with his hand in his mouth, he proceeded to then start jumping up and down. I asked him what was wrong. He says, "My tooth wont come out and it hurts." So I turned on the light, to look at his tooth, that hurt so "bad". I told him to wiggle it again. The damn thing wasnt loose, my idiot brother was trying to pull out a tooth that wasnt fucking loose. Come on, you have to be stupid to do that.

He sat in my room for a while with me and watched me play some NCAA, how fun could that be? The whole time he has his hand in his mouth wiggling the unwiggleable tooth. Jake was sitting calm on the edge of my bed, busy with this tooth, and out of the blue he gets up, trips over my playstation controller cord, and then runs for the bathroom, again. He comes back into my room with a grin from ear to ear. I just started laughing. He had played with that tooth so much that it came out. As he was finally leaving my room he turns and says to me, "Well the Tooth Fairy is coming to give me money, and not you."

What a moron!

Neverending Story
The Neverending Story is on TV right now. That's one helluva badass movie right there!

HS Rankings
First of all what they put in the paper and tell you is the rankings of 11th grade... by then most of the "bad scorrers" drop out.. that and I got my info from the "inside" aka "my parents"

RE: NSM/KST/CSF
NSM provides the music that soothes my soul.

Also, Mr. Winetroub says this:
"There is SO MUCH WRONG with that Ted Nugent post that I don't even know where to start. If you cannot see the errors in the simple-minded bigoted view of just about everything that he takes, then you are truly lost. I feel sorry for you, because if you believe that, then you hurt yourself, those around you, and our society."

While I do not agree with everything he says, his simplicity is refreshing. I fail to see how these beliefs would cause society to come crashing down. Tempered with some very slight moderation, these views reflect my own. Ted Nugent has a rock star history and a party past, but that doesn't mean his views are necessarily wrong. I actually agreed with them, after hearing politicans bullshit and lie through their careers. TED NUGENT FOR PRESIDENT!

RE: King Standardized Test
Wow, you are all stupid compared to my cusin Tom. 1600 SAT's, 35 ACT's. He got a 3.8 GPA and was excepted to Princton, Yale, MIchigan, ND, and Ohio Wesleyan. He went to Ohio Wesleyan to study music and now he has a kick ass band. NSM. Now he goes to Michigan on a full ride for graduate school. Tomy ownz j00 all. Killer, Scadam, even you too Mikey.

RE: RE: Ted Nugent
Wow Ward don't front with Adam. He ownz j00. He is king Ted Nugent not you fruit boy.

INSANE NUGENT
There is SO MUCH WRONG with that Ted Nugent post that I don't even know where to start. If you cannot see the errors in the simple-minded bigoted view of just about everything that he takes, then you are truly lost. I feel sorry for you, because if you believe that, then you hurt yourself, those around you, and our society.

Teddy
I'm perfectly aware that "Cat Scratch Fever" is a song Ted Nugent wrote, not a nickname of his. I merely used it in that context to indicate that I'm aware of who he is and his musical talent... to help back up my position that I was unaware that the "bad american" manifesto was penned by him.

RE:RE: Ted Nugent
Furthermore Adam, you should know, being the school nerd you are, that the term "Cat Scratch Fever" would be a description of a condition someone has. I am not going to tell y'all what that means, we're all old enough to already know!!!

RE: TED NUGENT
Adam, I do not mean to be pissy over small things: but I feel that correction is needed when correction is due. Ted Nugent's nickname is NOT "Cat Scratch Fever". As many of us Know, "CSF" is a song he wrote, among many, that helped him become famous. His ACTUAL nickname would be the Detroit City Madman. Please correct your post!!

Teddy Nugent
Actually, I had culled it from Geoff Frazier's site, and he offered no credit to Ted. I had no idea that was ol' Cat Scratch Fever's manifesto until I saw what Bram had written. I meant no disrespect to Ted at all... Shlong should get in his ass kicked for plagiarising.

RE: Ted Nugent Rules
I was reading the Ted Nugent post and something struck me as familiar. And then it came to me... That was the same "manifesto" that Adam plagerized and put on his AIM info without giving credit to the man, Ted Nugent. Adam, you suck.

Ted Nugent Rules!

Written by Ted Nugent, the rock singer and hunter/naturalists upon hearing that California Senators B. Boxer and D. Feinstein denounced him for
being a "gun owner" and a "Rock Star".

This was his response after telling the senators about his past contributions to children's charities and scholarship foundations which have totaled more than $13.7 million in the last 5 years!

"I'm a Bad American-this pretty much sums it up for me.

I like big trucks, big boats, big houses, and naturally pretty women.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid level governmental functionary with a bad combover who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.

I don't care about appearing compassionate.

I think playing with toy guns doesn't make you a killer.

I believe ignoring your kids and giving them Prozac might.

I think I'm doing better than the homeless.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized.

I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird or make me mad. This is my life to live, and not necessarily up toothers expectations.

I know what SEX is and there are not varying degrees of it.

I don't celebrate Kwanzaa. But if you want to that's fine. I just don't feel like everyone else should have to.

I believe that if you are selling me a Dairy Queen shake, a pack of cigarettes, or hotel room you do it in English. As of matter of fact, if you are an American citizen you should speak English. My uncles and forefathers
shouldn't have had to die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come disrespect ours, and make us bend to your will. Get over it.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry butt if you're running
from them after they tell you to stop.

If you can't understand the word 'freeze' or 'stop' in English, see the previous line.

I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular
opinions or actions.

I know how to count votes and I feel much safer letting a machine with no
political affiliation do a recount when needed.

I know what the definition of lying is, and it isn't based on the word "is" - ever.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you qualify for any special loan programs, gov't sponsored bank loans, etc., so you can
open a hotel, 7-Eleven, trinket shop, or any thing else, while he indigenous peoples can't get past a college education because they can't afford it.

I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet.

I thought the Taco Bell dog was funny.

I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks.

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to that crap from someone else's car when I'm stopped at a red light. But I respect your
right to.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than
working at Blockbuster or Jack In The Box.

I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words lite or fat-free on
the
package.

Our soldiers did not go to some foreign country and risk their lives in
vain and defend our Constitution so that decades later you can tell me it's a
living document ever changing and is open to interpretation. The guys who
wrote it were light years ahead of anyone today, and they meant what they
said - now leave the document alone, or
there's going to be trouble.

I don't hate the rich. I help the poor.

I know wrestling is fake.

I've never owned, or was a slave, and a large percentage of our forefathers
weren't wealthy enough to own one either. Please stop blaming me because
some prior white people were idiots - and remember, tons of white, Indian, Chinese, and other races have been enslaved too - it was wrong for every
one of them.

I believe a self-righteous liberal Democrat with a cause is more
dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.

I want to know exactly which church is it where the "Reverend" Jessie
Jackson preaches; and, what exactly is his job function.

I own a gun, you can own a gun, and any red blooded American should be
allowed to own a gun, but if you use it in a crime, then you will serve
the time.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue
to make more. If it makes you mad, then invent the next operating system
that's better and put your name on the building. Ask our buddy that
invented the Internet [Gore] to help you.

I don't believe in hate crime legislation. Even suggesting it makes me
mad. You're telling me that someone who is a minority, gay, disabled, another
nationality, or otherwise different from the ainstream of this country has
more value as a human being that I do as a whiteale.

If someone kills anyone, I'd say that it's a hate crime. We don't need
more laws! Let's enforce the ones we already have.

I think turkey bacon, turkey beef, turkey fake anything sucks.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes a
parent with the guts to stand up to the kid and spank his butt and say
"NO!"
when it's necessary to do so.

I'll admit that the only movie that ever made me cry was Ole Yeller.

I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a kid.

I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep
silent
because I have these beliefs and opinions. I thought this country allowed
me
that right.

I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's
feelings.

I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the
mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

Yes, I guess by some people's definition, I may be a bad American.
But that's tough."

> Ted Nugent

Stupid Shit
Here's a little site with a bunch short games and what not, if you have a little free time check it out. www.liquidgeneration.com

Episode One DVD
Absolutely amazing. The picture is brilliant as far as I can see on my 4:3 formatted TV (RCA 31"), and the Dolby Digital 5.1 Ex Surround is AMAZING. I've never heard such aggressive use of the surrounds in such an effective manner as long as I've had a Dolby Digital receiver. The supplemental features are awesome too. It's a mere $17.99 at Target and Best Buy, so freakin' BUY IT. Now. Do not wait. Star Wars is here on DVD and we're in for a treat when 2 through 6 hit.

ITEDs
How can what Dave wrote have any weight when the fact remains that we scored a 95 overall two months into a freshman year, and scored a mere 1 percentile point higher overall junior year? Obviously the dropouts and Metro kids have little effect when one considers that few, if any, would have dropped out two months into freshman year.

Possibilities...
I think what Dave is saying could hold some serious weight. Additionally there is the idea of "dumbing down". Where the school will offer all sorts of "dumbed down" versions of classes, which will look good on paper, but don't actually prepare students for much. This concept is CLEARLY visible in the amount of AP classes that the CR high schools like to throw in, but then have grossly unqualified teachers teach the students. What can you learn if the person teaching the subject doesn't even understand what it's about? I took AP psych at Wash my senior year, that class was WAY off base and in no way prepared us to take the AP exam, or understand what college "psych 101" was going to be like. I took AP micro and macro econ at Kennedy my senior year and I question if the teacher even knew what economics was, he made me HATE economics, and now it's one of my majors, I love it. I know for a fact that the only chem teacher that is actually board certified and qualified to teach AP Chem teaches at Kennedy, yet there are AP chem classes taught at Washington and Jefferson. After I graduated, in order to "catch up" with Washington, I know that Kennedy added about 9 more AP classes, which were taught just by random teachers... most of which have degrees in fields dealing in no way with the content that they are required to teach at a college level. One such class was AP Spanish, taught by a teacher (Mrs. Aldrich) that was so incredibly unqualified that they had to PROMOTE her out of her teaching position because the students were getting solid 1's on the AP exam, and as such prompted major parental and post-graduate student complaint, how insane is that? The fact is there is a serious nepotism problem in the CR School District (Dr. Plagman married to Dr. Wilcynski at Kennedy, Mrs. Aldrich married to another administration official, the managerial structure in the school system reads like a family tree) which prevents new and better ideas from being implemented, and results in the promotion of unqualified people to decision-making positions of even greater power. The solution to some of this could be, as it is in other states, to require students to take the AP exam if they're in the AP class, and that score determines not only the students’ grade, but the teachers as well. Just a few possibilities. On a final tangent, rewards... Rewards and awards for everything diminish real accomplishment and real expectations/goals, remember...

Students tend to rise to the level of expectation, good or bad.

HS Rankings
What I said was in no way false. The reason our school ranks as high as it does is due to our friends at Metro. Other school districts dropout programs are in the highschool they were from, not another highschool especially for them. Metro doesn't have to take the tests but the kids in the dropout programs in other school districts do, as does everyone else at that highschool. This is fact. Not just something I whipped up myself.

Beat this...
35 ACT
1540 SAT
Accepted into ISU, U of Illinois, Washington U in St. Louis, and UC Berkeley for Computer Engineering in 1998
4.0 at the U of Iowa
Accepted as transfer to the Wharton School of Business at the U of Pennsylvania, U of Michigan School of Business, Kellogg School of Business at Northwestern, and Harvard Business School in 2001.
RAR! =)

BTW, High School was utterly useless, I took classes at Washington and Kennedy, and I found that most of the teachers probably didn't know what they were talking about, and the "hard" classes were mostly meaningless junk.

Yankees Win!
Damnit, I was cheering for Cleveland and Oakland. Go Mariners and D-Backs! If we have another fucking Atlanta-New York World Series, look for ratings to be the lowest in years. Enough is enough!

Anthrax
Okay, this is getting ridiculous. Tom Brokaw says he might have it. It's reached ABC News as well. Sen. Tom Daschle's office received some Anthrax. The tabloids got hit. This is horrible, and it's obvious there's some mastermind behind this. Behold Bin Laden's act two. The terrorist have suceeded again at creating terror and fear around the world. Check this article out. People are absolutely freaked at white powder. There's been hundreds of evacuations. Bin Laden is winning. We have got to take that fucker down.

I don't care if any of you say we don't have proof. He's threatened over and over and over and over. This is obviously part of a systemic attack on America in many different places from many different sources. Damnit, this is why we have to take that piece of shit down.

RE: King Standardized Test
PSAT? Hah hah hah! If we're going to be score-bragging here, allow my actually meaningless scores to speak for themselves:
ACT: 33
SAT: 1460
PSAT: 211... I think? I'm a Nat'l Merit Scholar, that's all I know.
Wow, I don't usually indulge in such ribald braggadocio (whoo-hoo Vocab. tests!), but sometimes it's good... I guess?

RE: King Standardized Test
We will see. I took the ACT's in 7th grade and scored a 24 I think, I am confident I can beat that. I am taking the PSAT's this weekend, I will report my scores here for all to critique.

Jeter
I can't believe he made that catch. Wow. That was impressive.

King Standardized Test
Sorry bud, you can't floss on Kelly Kennedy's 34 on the ACT test. King Kilburg and I pulled down 33s too. Mad l33t.
Queen Kelly
King Multitask (me); aka KNF
King Kilburg

TPM DVD tomorrow!
Finally, Star Wars hits home on DVD... at least one part. Episode One will be released on everyone's favorite silver disc at long last! I'm looking forward to this big time... I think I might go buy it at Best Buy instead of hitting Taco Tuesday.

RE: ITEDS
I enjoy ITED's. I like to take standardized tests because I am the King of them. Only time will tell about Swifty's results, he still has a long way to go to catch up. I finished vocab very quickly too. Everything else I finished quickly, as today was my strongest subjects.

In the royal hierarchy of ITED's, it goes like this:
King Charles
Prince Nick
Court Jester Swifty

Hahahaha, lying about ITED scores.

More HS Rankings
And c'mon... most of our WHS students came from McKinley or Franklin. Franklin got a 75, and McKinley was what... like an 18? So how do you figure WHS is that much higher? I'll tell you: Dr. Plagman and the teaching staff. There's no other variable that changed like those did. Dr. Plagman might take a lot of crap, but he deserves credit where credit is due.

GM Ads
I'm sickened by GM using the terrorist attacks to their own business benefit. "Keep America Rolling with 0 percent financing...". Absolutely disgusting and ridiculous. I don't see any other company stooping to that level to sell product, but car companies will use just about any excuse to have a "sale". I wonder how much these stupid "sales" actually increase car purchases. Murphy?

Orbit Gum Ads
OMFG, these are the most dumbassed ads ever. I can't stand them.

HS Rankings
Your whole Metro/Drop-out argument is completely fallacious, Dave. Our class of 2002 was 95 Frosh, 95 Soph, and 96 Junior year. Those dropouts allowed us to move up a single point. The fact remains that we have unbelievably good teachers, with unbelievable course offerings, and unbelievably motivated students. There's still a buttload of dumbasses included in that Junior class 96, so it's still ridiculously amazing. I agree that perhaps the ITED isn't the best test (it has too low of a high end... too many students top out)... but any national percentile rank is computed figuring with other students taking that test... so any flaws in the test itself aren't important, as all students are equally affected by said flaws.

Ahh, ITEDs
Hmm... So many conflicting arguments on their validity and value... Although I do agree with Dave in that they mean basically nothing (hell, I've been in the ninety-ninth percentile all through high school, and there are certainly those less bright than myself, but I ain't no genius, either), at the same time I have to agree with Adam that they provide a welcome break from the tedium of the normal schedule without being horribly disruptive. Also, there are perks -- I get candy from my homeroom teacher, I get donuts during the breaks, I get to spend about fifteen extra minutes with my girlfriend,... It's a win-win situation. Besides, who doesn't like FREE T-SHIRTS?!?
P.S.: Icy Hot Stuntaz be the mutha-fuggin' shizzit!

Re:HS Rankings
The truth is that Washington really isn't all its cracked up to be. In fact if they told the truth Wash might be more around the 70-80th percentile. What happens to Wash that makes it so great? All the drop out dumbasses go to metro. They use the 11th grade composite which means most of the crackers have dropped out by then. Also other schools around Iowa don't have a "Metro" or place to send the dropouts... they just stay at the same school and take the tests which lower their composite scores... that boosts us up alot. So pretty much the school doesn't do a very good job of accuratley testing us as a whole and cuts out the dumb ones.. which they say they dont. That and they use the lie to get us to do better... I feel alot of people could care less how they score.

Icy Hot Stuntaz ownz

I <3 this pic cuz "AdamBrewer: I think it's silly"

HS Rankings
From experience I'd have to say the CR school system stinks. Compared with the other schools I attended the CR school district was MUCH easier. Additionally the CR schools rank themselves on their own testing system, the ITEDs are horribly easy, as Adam even mentioned. A much better test would be the SRA exam. Additionally, in ranking schools, there should be more factors considered: grad rate, variety of colleges the grads go to, success of grads in college, SAT and ACT exam scores evaluated against the entire population of students at a given HS, the list goes on. It just upsets me that people are fed this BS their whole lives that the Iowa school system is the best, it's not, and the way they support their case is simply bad statistical methods. I can explain in further detail the statistical flaws in the evaluation of Iowa Schools, but it will take some space, and it will require knowledge of some stats concepts.

David Bowie
w00t David Bowie ownz. I cant wait to go out and buy David Bowies Greatest Hits album w00t. China Girl, Changes, Magic Dance, and Heros are all classics. I <3 Magic Dance.

Proud To Be a Warrior
After seeing the Gazette on Sunday, I'm more proud than ever to be a Warrior. Seeing our school 20 percentile points higher than every other school in CR is something to be incredibly proud of. Can you even comprehend that the average Senior scored a 96 last year? That's just unbelievable. The closest range of points was 75, which went to several schools. Washington is really dedicated to doing our very best and it shows. To all you non-Seniors out there... take advantage of WHS while you can. You're getting one of the best damn educational experiences in the nation for a mere $72.

More ITED Fun
Is it just me, or do these tests get easier every year? I sat down and did the vocabulary section at a leisurely pace and finished the whole thing in 5 minutes. I thought it was a 10 minute test, only to find out after waiting 5 minutes it's a 15 minute test. Wow. It was so easy.

ITEDs
I don't know what everyone's problem is with ITEDs. I for one, enjoy ITED days. First off, you get out of two classes, which no matter how you look at it, rocks. Then you get to go and take tests that are really not worth complaining about. Then you get to go socialize for like 15 minutes and eat delicious Krispy Kreme donuts. Then you win awards just because everyone came to your class. I like ITED days. They're a nice change of pace.

NCAA OWNZ0RZ
w00t 1245 rushing yards in one 3 minute quarter game w00t. Ask Keez or Scaddam if you dun believe me. w00t i <3 infinite timeouts, i <3 campus challange cards w00t.

War
We rarely enact congressional war declarations, and they're generally deemed unnecessary (NATO's invocation of article 5 is in itself a declaration of war). Beyond that I don't advocate "crimes against humanity" but I do believe the whole notion of "war crimes" is insane. War is war, it is SUPPOSED to be absolutely horrible and thus used ONLY as a last resort. Now we don't need to do horrible things here at all, but apologies concerning the loss of civilian life are just stupid... Bombs going off in cities will kill all sorts of people, and that is accepted to be a part of war, worldwide, no apologies necessary. These conditions were brought on by a nation that attacked the civilized world; the Taliban sponsors actions, which result in the downfall of any system that does not conform to their backward system, and as such, must be eliminated at all costs, ALL COSTS. The only reason I'm so upset about this, is that the civilized nations don't seem to understand history. I'll just give one example... The American Revolutionary War was won, in part, due to the fact that the American soldiers did not obey the "rules of war" established by the European nations. The rules basically stated that the 2 armies lined up at sometime in the morning (9 AM or somewhere around that) and they stood in organized lines, parallel, and fired on each other. This was how war was done according to "civilized man". Well we all know that the American fighters adopted the techniques of the Native Americans of hiding in the woods, attacking at random times, attacking from different places... This was a MAJOR factor in how we won the war. Such mistakes have been repeated throughout history (the British destruction of Napoleon's Navy at Egypt is another prime example). If we are constantly arguing with other nations on what is "fair" the terror campaign will stomp right through and win this BS. They may not win the control of Afghanistan, or even the war, but they can inflict HEAVY damage if they really want to... Imagine if 50 suicide pilots were onboard jets on Sept 11, not a difficult task really. I won't get into the finer details concerning this (how could we possibly stop suicide pilots with war action in Afghanistan...) I just wanted to raise the point of inept war.

So This is War huh?
Who declared war on who? When did the president pass a bill that says "We are declaring war on (your name here)?" No shit people are going to die, and no shit that includes innocent civilians, but is it really something to get a hard-on about?

And Swifty, who says that "they" (I'm assuming you meant Afghanistan) used anthrax on us?

Albeit I agree that these people should be punished to the nth degree, but I think we can take it in moderation without reducing ourselves to savage animals who know nothing more then to annihilate people who prolly haven't got the faintest idea what the hell is going on, much less give a rat's ass. We have the backing of many very powerful nations, so how is it going to look to them if we start butchering women and children like cows in a meat-packing factory? Will they turn against us and possibly slap us with international charges of violating the Geneva Convention? All answers point to yes. Yes, I believe we need to punish people for these atrocities, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the means to revenge are subject to scrutiny by others, no matter how right it might seem in our eyes.

Example: My thoughts about the means to punish terrorists - medieval-esque torture that lasts at least a month, and if they're still alive after that, we send them to a federal prison so they can become the ass-bitch of big men on death row for the rest of their lives.

Hothead Paisan
Terrorists can be chicks too. I found what looks to be like a comic book or cartoon about a homicidal lesbian terrorist. Check it out.
http://www.marystreet.com/HH/

Hey There...
My name is TB, and now you poor bastards will have to listen to what I say.

All's Fair In Love And War
Is it just me or does anyone else think more extreme action against terrorist-sympathetic nations needs to be taken? I think that the phrase "all's fair in love and war" certainly applies here, we should not baby or pussyfoot around these issues, war is a last resort, and as such is EXPECTED to be horrible, civilian casualties and all. What the more extreme actions should be, I won't say. But I will say that governments primary mission is to protect its' citizens at ALL COSTS, and those costs include the fall or elimination of other nations in the world. Perhaps this level does not yet apply, and hopefully never will, but if these terror attacks persist, and increase in severity, I think our government needs to look into a more powerful worldwide response. There are my 2 cents...

I <3 Monkeys
I like monkeys.
The pet store was selling them for five cents apiece.
I thought this was odd since they are normally a couple thousand apiece.
I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I bought 200 of them.
I like monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home.
I have a big car.
I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund.
He was retarded.
In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals.
I laughed.
They punched me in the genitals.
I stopped laughing.
When I got home, I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour.
Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive:
they all died.
No apparent reason.
They all just sort of dropped dead.
Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later.
DARN cheap monkeys.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room;
on the bed,
in the dresser,
hanging from my bookcase.
It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.
I tried to flush one down the toilet.
It didn't work.
It got stuck.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys.
I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals.
That worked for awhile, that is, until they began to decompose.
It started to smell real bad.
I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn't want to call a plumber.
I was embarrassed.
I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them.
Unfortuantely there was only enough room for two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad.
I tried to burn them, but little did I know that my bed was flammable.
I had to extinguish the fire.
Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed, and
The odor wasn't improving.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and
I really had to use the bathroom.
So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys.
I felt better.
I tried throwing them away,
but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates.
I told him I had a wet one.
He couldn't take it either.
I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution:
I gave them out as Christmas gifts.
My friends didn't quite know what to say.
They pretended to like them, but I could tell they were lying.
Ingrates.
So I punched them in the genitals.
Gee, I like monkeys.

Audibility = Goodness
My ride is once again graced with the sweet essence that we call sound waves. They truly are works of art. I have defianlty become more apt to respect things that I don't have anymore. Especially once I began to have to drive around for 2 months...tuneless. With the addition of sweet jams once again in my POS rice burner, it has become a Rolls Royce in my eyes; and quite friankly, I could care less if you think otherwise......

Honored to be here!
Hey everyone. I'm new to this blogger post thingy. I'm quite honored to be joining the ranks of Big Boy Productions. Wow. This is so cool. Well, that's about all. Shalom, and Shalom.

Bin Ladin Unveils New Offensive
Osama Bin Ladin held a rare public press conference yesterday to formally unveil his new offensive plan. "It's new, and I think it's hip," Bin Ladin said. "Although there are yet a few kinks to be worked out, I do believe that it will change modern warfare as we know it."

The new proposed plan will follow an "anything goes" format in which no offensive measure is ruled out. Bin Ladin explained, "My new plan will involve placing secret operatives within enemy territory. They will then do as they are instructed. I call this method 'Internal Warfare'." He continued to explain that these operative will not be identified in anyway, and will assume rolls as typical American citizens. Bin Ladin ended his formal statement with a look of satisfaction as he opened himself up for questions.

After an array of questions, Bin Ladin was asked if he was aware that his "new" brand of warfare was in violation of the Geneva Convention. At this, Bin Ladin replied, "What is this Geneva Convention??"

After a light chuckle swept the conference room, Bin Ladin was asked wether he was aware that his plan as described was almost identical to the definition of terrorism. His face became flushed and his aide promptly responded with "No comment." Bin Ladin and his procession then hurridly called an end to the conference.

President Bush was later asked to comment on Bin Ladin's direct violation of the Geneva Convention. Bush replied, "What's the Geneva Convention?"

Taliban TV Guide

MONDAYS:
8:00 - Husseinfeld
8:30 - Mad About Everything
9:00 - Suddenly Sanctions
9:30 - The Brian Benben Bin Laden Show
10:00 - Allah McBeal

TUESDAYS:
8:00 - Wheel of Terror and Fortune
8:30 - The Price Is Right If Saddam Says It's Right
9:00 - Children Are Forbidden From Saying the Darndest Things
9:30 - Iraq's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers
10:00 - Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer

WEDNESDAYS:
8:00 - U.S. Military Secrets Revealed
8:30 - When Kurds Attack
9:00 - Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pita Bread
9:30 - Just Shoot Everyone
10:00 - Veilwatch

THURSDAYS:
8:00 - Fatima Loves Chachi
8:30 - M*U*S*T*A*S*H
9:00 - Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses and Veils
9:30 - My Two Baghdads
10:00 - Diagnosis: Heresy

FRIDAYS:
8:00 - Judge Saddam
8:30 - Funniest Super 8 Home Movies
9:00 - Captured Kurds Say the Darndest Things
9:30 - Achmed's Creek
10:00 - No-Witness News

SATURDAYS:
8:00 - My Favorite Taliban
8:30 - Whose Koran Is It Anyway?
9:00 - I've Got a Fatwa
9:30 - Family Ties and Cuts Off the Hands of Infidel Pigs
10:00 - Sesame Goat Path

Die Terrorist Scum!

Recruits
Big Boy Productions is currently looking for a few good men. We need writers to add content to our humble site. If you're interested, click my name below and send me an email.