Two Fags In A Blazer
Wow... last night had to be the best night I have had in a long time. It was Adam, Mike, Dave and myself. There were so many damn pigs out last night. We really could not go any faster than 2 or 3 over the entire time. If I did go any faster, Mike would flip out and tell me to slow down.

The night's momentum picked up when we were sitting at a stop light on the ave. Mike was giving these fags in a black Chevy Blazer the stare down. It was pretty funny, because the driver looked like he was about to cry or something. We headed up the ave toward the west side, and the faggots in the Blazer started to tail us. At the next light they pulled up on the right side of us, rolled down their windows, and started looking at us. I said to him, "Dude, why are you holding your cig like a fairy?" It was so funny, he just looked at me with this dumb-ass look on his face and mumbled something that I didn't understand. The light changed and I slowly pulled away. These fags proceeded to follow us for nearly 45 goddamned minutes! Dave had me driving somewhere out by Kirkwood (out in the boonies). Finally, I pulled over to the shoulder, as did our friends in the Blazer. After sitting there for about a minute or two, they pulled out and got in front of us--but at an angle so I couldn't pass them on the left. So what did I do? I went to the right and damn near went in the ditch, but it was all good, because I made it. Anyway, the guys left and we thought that was the end of it.

Well, we were wrong. No less than two hours later, we were out by Lindale Mall, preparing to screw with Mall Security, when lo and behold, our buddies in the black Blazer pull into Best Buy right behind us. The Blazer fairies had recruited by this point, now there were at least six guys in the car. It truly gave a new meaning to the term pillow biters! I pulled out of the parking lot and back onto the ave. Mike and Dave explained a tactic that would enable us to lose them. It basically involved trying to either turn left off of the ave right before some cars arrived (so the fairies wouldn't be able to turn until after the cars passed), or turning right onto the ave at a red light right before a group of cars arrived. We pulled off the right turn manuerver and they ended up being about four cars behind us. We quickly made our way into the left turn lane and turned off. As we headed down the street away from the ave, we saw the fairies drive right on past. We had lost them. w00t! We headed over the Mike's house for a bit, then left again. As we arrived at the four-way stop by Arthur Elementary, the fairies were there too. I turned left so we could head toward 29th Street, and they nearly rammed the car, but missed. As we came up to the stop light at 29th Street and 1st Avenue, they were sitting behind us. Next thing I knew, I got slapped on the top of my head. I do mean slap here. I had my sunroof open; that's how the driver was slapping me. He was saying dumb stuff like, "What now? Huh!?!? What now!?!?" or some gay shit to that effect. As he was walking away, I commented, "Were those supposed to be punches? Because damn, that didn't hurt at all." Then he came back and I think actually made a first this time and hit me like 3 more times. These hurt more, but for real, I think Scaddam can hit harder. It was nothing like I thought... this was the first time I've been hit for real and it didn't hurt that much at all. Later on at like midnight, I got a small headache, but other than that... nada. While this was going on, Mike was just frozen. Adam quietly told him to close the sunroof, but he didn't move. None of the guys had absolutely any clue what was going on. Until I got hit a few times, neither did I. It was so sudden. It was pretty funny how they reacted... they were actually mad, and we were just having fun. The best part was that they actually went to get more guys. If we woulda gotten out of the car, we would've owned their asses. They were a bunch of pot head pussies.

Oh yeah... HandiMart rocks. We stopped at 3 different locations 4 times last night. There was more fun last night too, but I'll leave that to Mike, Dave, and Adam.