My Anthrax Scare, Or Lack There Of
The doorbell rings and I get up off of my lazy ass to go answer the door. There stood a stranger holding an envelope. I opened the door and greeted him, he told me that he lived on 2106 Country Club Parkway and told me that he often gets our mail. I acted suprised/interested, and listened as he told me that he was here to give me an envelope that he got. It was address as such:

Mr. L.E. Basile
2106 Lincolnshire Dr. S.E.
Cedar Rapids, Iowa 52403
He went on to tell me that the return address was from the TWA terminal at the Logan International Airport in Boston, MA; and that "it seems to have some sort of POWDER in it, I just thought you'd like to know that". As he said his lameass national scare theory of Anthrax, I couldn't help but laugh. What a fucking dumbass, why the hell would any terrorist send mail to the Basile's in CR, Iowa? As I chuckled, I told him "I'm sure the terrorists aren't sending my family Anthrax, I don't think we're that important. My Dad had recently been on a trip to Boston and he probably forgot something". He took my disregard of his outrageous presumption personally and went on to inform me that Anthrax is nothing to laugh at, and that anyone could get it in the mail. He then stormed off to his car and drove away. I took it to my dad and told him the story of the retard worry-wort that gave us our mail. My Dad then opened the manilla envelope and pulled out the Zippo that the airport security had to confiscate from him for safety reasons. The "powder" that the man felt, was the bubble wrap inside the envelope. I hate dumb worriers.