Christianity

Well, lately I have been graced with the occasional Christianity vs. Atheism theories, and lots of personal experiences from both of the extremes plus the median on their ways of Christian life. With those being put upon me, I have taken a little time to think deeply about where I am in the whole mess. Personally, I consider myself a Christian, I got to church occasionally and sometimes pray and celebrate all the Christian holidays. But I feel that I'm doing it just because I have been fed the theory that Church + God + Common Christian Practices = a good life with maybe heaven at the end of the tunnel. Even though I am a self proclaimed Christian, I feel that religions are merely cosmetic. Because when I hear about Born-Again-Christians, and people that have found the light and constantly rely and trust that God will do what's right for you, I understand what they mean, but I don't fully believe the fact. I believe that you reap what you sow, and therefore you make your own future. For example: If God gave me the talent of making bread and intended for me to use my talent, but instead I spent my days playing video games because that's what I wanted to do, I would have never used my God given talent because I chose and I choose my own destiny. If you are dead serious about being a "freak" about christianity (for lack of a better title), all the power to you, go on with your strong beliefs and use them to the fullest. I don't have a problem with you and I have respect for your depth in Christianity, but I don't understand how you can rely your lifestyle to obey a belief that no one knows the truth about. I don't know if that makes me an atheist or what. I would like to believe full-heartedly that I am a true christian through and through, but when I hear of the extreme cases of people loving God with all their heart, and how they thank him for everything, I say to myself 'I thank myself for what I have done for ME, and God? Why did you have to do that shitty shit to me the other day? I mean, that really sucked" If you catch my drift, If I were to think in that perspective I would be blaming God for the unfortunate crap that happens to me, and since a good Christian boy wouldn't do that, I would much rather blame myself or the forces of nature for it. So in that circumstance I would be thinking more in the mindset that I am responsible for myself, not God. One thing I claim to believe in is Heaven. Maybe just because it sounds like a better deal than rotting in a casket for eternity, but if you think about it, heaven could have just been a made up theory just to scare the masses into living into a more conformed and righteous lives that actually caught on over time. No one has been to heaven and told me if it is really there or if it isn't, so why should I buy into the belief? Is it because an old book written by God knows who (no pun intended) tells me to? In the end I still consider myself a Christian even though I have some really big voids to fill and questions to answer. Even though I would like to live a christian life (when I say live I mean eat, breathe, sleep the belief), I still can't bring myself to believe everything whole-heartedly.

But now I will leave you with a little something that the great comedian, George Carlin said on Politically Incorrect (My absolute favorite show), "Hey, I coulda prayed to Joe Pesci and got the same results".

Signed - Christian Poser,
Nick